But Will You Still Give Me Hugs and Kisses?

What is your love language? This is the question I asked my 11 year old son, Jonathan and my 9 year old daughter, Emory last night before bed. My 7 year old son, Benjamin, had already fallen asleep after playing with great determination in his second basketball game of the season.

Jonathan and Emory looked quite puzzled in response to my question. I had listened online to a Focus on the Family radio broadcast with Gary Chapman. He is the author of The 5 Love Languages of Children. This had sparked my interest concerning the love languages of my own children.

First of all, what is a love language? I described it to my children as the way you prefer for someone to show you they love you. Chapman says the 5 love languages are acts of service, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and gifts. After discussing it for a while, Jonathan and Emory each decided which way they prefer for us to show them we love them. We talked and laughed and they also guessed which love language I prefer the most.

This morning I explained it all to Benjamin, who had slept through the conversation last night. Immediately after I described each love language to him, he said, “I like to spend time with you!” He was very proud of himself for being able to answer so quickly and definitely. Within a few seconds however, he sadly and almost desperately said, “But will you still give me hugs and kisses?”

I quickly explained that I will always give him hugs and kisses. I told him that just because he likes to spend quality time with me doesn’t mean I won’t also love him by giving him gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and yes…hugs and kisses.

Don’t you just love the way the mind of a child works? Even Emory, who had decided last night that her love language is physical touch (with quality time being a close second), asked me this morning if I can still give her gifts. 😊 Jonathan had a difficult time deciding, but he was sure to let me know that even though he put quality time at the top of his list, he’s hoping I will still perform acts of service for him (i.e. Please clean my room for me sometimes, Mom.)

The ongoing conversation made me laugh. I explained again that I will love them in ALL ways. We were simply trying to decide which love language we lean toward the most.

I laughed at my children, but I’m very much the same. I told my husband that I lean toward words of affirmation, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, “Maybe I should have said acts of service?” I do feel quite loved when he helps me clean the house!

As I remember these moments with a smile on my face, I am reminded of my Heavenly Father. I am comforted by the knowledge that He loves me. He loves me in every way I can possibly imagine. He loves me in ways I don’t even realize or comprehend. I don’t have to worry that He might be too busy to spend quality time with me or that He could possibly forget to bless me with gifts.

As an earthly mother, I’m positive there are days that I fail to express my love to my children as I should. Not so with God. Every moment of every day, He reveals His love to me. He has given His Son to redeem my life. He is the Creator of the Universe and He calls me His own. He reveals Himself to me through the Scripture and is listening whenever I call. He always has time for me. He always comforts me. He guides me and protects me. He blesses me with unimaginable gifts. He is the ultimate Father.

My children are correct to fear that if I focus on spending quality time with them I might forget to give them hugs and kisses. I am only human. They know me well enough to realize I am not perfect.

Aren’t we thankful that God is perfect? He knows how to love us in every good way. He knows what we need and when we need it. He doesn’t have to ask what our love language is…He already knows.

Resting in His Love,
Karen

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